Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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