It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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