just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
