We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
