youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
