He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
i need some magic done to my vagina
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
