I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
don't judge my taste in strippers
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
