The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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