Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
