i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Randomize
