I cannot find my penis.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
It's not a walk of shame if you run
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
