I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
