So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found puke in my bra..
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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