Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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