Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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