why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
