we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
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