Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
