You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Randomize
