When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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