They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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