How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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