Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
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