You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
