I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
