Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
i think i have two assholes
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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