i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
