she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
