so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
