i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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