Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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