I just made out with a guy for $7.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
