omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
