hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
