I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
