I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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