I want to have your abortion
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
