My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
