somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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