i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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