do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
