I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
