ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
