I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
