that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
