btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
