He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
