I must be too annoying 4 u.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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