I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
