can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
