Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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