I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
